Welcome to Lucky No.777! For those who want to submit a question for the advice column, which gets published in the end of month newsletter, you can submit that here! All questions are anonymous, so don’t be shy bb!

7 things i currently die for:

1. The Last Bimbo of the Apocalypse

   

   I’ve been a huge fan of Michael Breslin and Patrick Foley since seeing Circle Jerk back in 2022, but this was simply so hysterical and just downright wildly entertaining. I mainly went for Keri Rene Fuller’s vocals (new Elphaba standby alert HELLO), which when I tell you I have played the recording of her singing Memory approximately 566,788 trillion times and it would be my most streamed song if YouTube offered Wrapped like Spotify, and boy did she fucking eat. This was campy and weird and my type of evening at the theatre. Shoutout to Signature Center for providing an incredible space to gather/hang/mingle pre and post show.

2. Sandwell

   I have been a sandwich connoisseur since college, and it’s been pretty rare that I’ve found solid deli style sandwiches in NYC that remind me of the type of dank sandos I’d snag from the country grocery store in Virginia to take on a hike in the Shenandoah Valley while being told by the guy I was convinced was the love of my life “I have a girlfriend, but that doesn’t change anything!”. Let me tell you, Sandwell is THAT girl. I got the Lunchbox which features maple turkey, turkey bacon, cheddar, avocado, pickles, lettuce, tomato, and a dairy-free avocado ranch. Upgrade to the “Treat yourself” for $6 where you get Cape Cod potato chips, a pickle, and a beverage of choice. I got the Ginger Lemonade and felt healed. Will be returning again and again. 10/10. No notes.

3. Penn Badgley on Call Her Daddy

   

   I am so delayed with my podcast queue, but this was a standout conversation IMO. Penn’s take on casual dating nailed it immediately (please see above graphic). I don’t know where these allegedly straight men exist IRL who have clearly been to therapy and work on themselves, but I gotta keep hunting I guess. It’s been fun seeing Dan Humphry grow up, and honestly I watch The Boy is Mine music video where Penn plays Mayor Max Starling oh so frequently.

4. Intimissimi

   While I still am confused why brands think I will buy Brawny paper towels because Ciara from Summer House does an ad for them, I will admit I was absolutely influenced by Eli Rallo and Tinx to finally check out Intimissimi. I haven’t been fitted for a bra since middle school, and for some reason felt the urge to graduate past my usual Victoria Secret or Savage Fenty go to. Not only are the various styles incredibly comfortable and flattering, but the price point wasn’t bad at all. Very satisfying and helpful to visit IRL to see how the different styles fit, and my girl Brittany was an angel sent from above at the Upper West side location. They’re having an amazing deal right now where it’s buy 2, get 1 free. The Leila is the perfect replacement for my old Calvin Klein seamless bralettes that have kicked the curb, and I got a fun new option for whoever gets to undress me next!

5. Overcompensating

   

   I loved this so much more than I thought I would! NGL the only thing I know about Benny is his viral Glossier video he made back in 2019, and I kinda loved that I went into this series blind. Obsessed with the titles of each episode being iconic songs that evoked a very nostalgic and specific chapter of my collegiate career. I died for the way they portrayed fratty cis hets, which was spot on, and yeah frat culture is incredibly homo erotic DUH. As someone who loved college and whos college was very fratty and secret society centric, this really had me in my nostalgic feels. Loved, loved, loved. Never wanted it to end.

6. The Four Seasons

   LOVED this! Thought the writing was so tight, loved the organization of each season getting 2 episodes. Coleman Domingo can simply breathe on screen and I am so game. Funny, heartfelt, and just well done this is a solid series to binge. Felt nice to vicariously live through this friend group that travels together every season since we live in a world where it feels like we only do that through virtual reality which is depressing! Also more of Julia Lester everywhere please!! STAR.

7. Love in a F*cked Up World by Dean Spade

I initially bought this book as a Valentine’s Day gift for myself, and this book really took me by surprise in the best way. I genuinely thought I might not enjoy it as much since I’m not actively dating and feared it would be relationship heavy, but honestly while this book covers a lot of romantic situations, it genuinely is just a book about being a better human. If anything, it was incredibly helpful for Dean to call out how we’ve been sold this bullshit romance myth, and demystifying that, while also providing helpful tools for how to date in this capitalistic hellscape we live in. Will for sure be checking out Mutual Aid next. Dean is brilliant, and this book taught me more than years of therapy have. Should be required reading for all, and I know I say that about 95% of the literature I read, but I really do mean it.

7 minute essay: more than the moon

I want to stop getting so sick. I came down with what I am convinced is the latest strain of covid, but my PCP assured me it’s “the common cold” and “did you try using a Neti Pot?” to which I took one look at her pregnant belly, and wanted to scream from the rooftops of the Health Center, IS IT NORMAL THAT THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I’VE SEEN YOU IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS?! IS IT NORMAL THAT YOU’VE PROCREATED AND DEVELOPED A TINY HUMAN INSIDE OF YOU THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO RELEASE INTO THE WORLD IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME I HAVE FELT LIKE I AM DYING FROM A NEW VIRUS AND THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS SUGGEST I USE A NETI POT?

I want to stop being distracted by my phone. I want to stop feeling like I need to buy things to be happy. I want to stop feeling like I am frozen in time and everyone else is living their lives, and I am just paralyzed. I want to stop being in pain. I want a large iced coffee to not cost $9. I want to stop panicking over my fridge and wondering if it’s normal that sometimes I open the door and the thermometer I got off Amazon (which I only own because I’ve lived in 2 apartments now where the fridge has randomly died one day) sometimes reads 33 and other times reads 40. I want to stop panicking over the condensation on my leftovers and wonder why my soda waters get sweaty. I want to stop feeling like I’ve poisoned myself everytime I make myself ground beef or ground turkey in an attempt to save money and eat cleaner.

I want to stop being told I look 23. I want guys on vacation to stop hitting on me at the bar while their girlfriend lounges in a chaise thirty feet away. I want to stop feeling like the best part of my day is showering before bed. I want to stop having to wear a night brace for my foot. I want the acne on the left side of my face to disappear completely without me having to shell out $8 to wear star patches, since I don’t know if the $200 gift card I received from my old job, will work at the fancy spa I go to once every three years where I pretend like I’m someone who can afford Lotion P50 on a quarterly basis because I work for the devil himself Zuckerberg and now live in Pound Ridge with my dog and hot husband and garden of herbs.

I want to be the one onstage, not the one sitting in the audience with the comp tickets current Glinda gifted me, but I don’t even get to see her as Glinda, because IRL she tore her hip so instead, I’m seeing the Glinda I trained for that insane health fair job I worked a decade ago where I got paid $25 to flirt with people while they filled out a questionnaire so they could get scammed by a chiropractor who most likely doesn’t accept their health insurance. 

I want to be working at a regional theatre in Maine for the month of May by night, and by day I walk the golf course alone and learn how to actually swing a club correctly. Where is my Trevor?! She’s queer. She never gets questioned or shamed when she admits she loves Overcompensating because it reminds her of college.

I want a house in the Hamptons and a Jeep and a black lab and to sing without warming up like Renee Rapp. I want to fearlessly flip backwards like Beson Boone and the persona of Sabrina Carpenter. I want to feel teeny tiny in those outfits and go “you ever try this one?” in front of a sold out stadium. I want therapy to work as well for me as it did Miley Cyrus.

I want to stop feeling so behind and so sad. I want to stop feeling like my friends only communicate with me through Tiktoks and DM reactions. I want someone to pay attention to me the way I feel like I pay so close attention to everyone around me.

I want my Jonathan Larson 30/90, but where I get to see the fruits of my labor, and I’m not an avoidant asshole to sweet Susan who wants to relocate to Jacob’s Pillow, which would be a dream.

I want every inch of me touched and I want to be left the fuck alone. I want to be on a Broadway marquis and live in the woods. I want to be the one people can’t shut up about and totally off the grid. 

I want to stop hurting and I want to feel joy vibrating through every inch of my body. I want to scream like the girls in John Proctor is the Villian to release the rage I feel has poisoned my body and caused my lower back pain and heel pain and ankle cyst. I want to be so good that someone goes home to google me and goes, “She was a Matilda! No wonder she’s nominated for a Tony!”

I wish.

More than anything.

More than the moon.